What does Mommas House offer to women of Long Island?
“Specifically it targets women between the ages of 17 and mid 20’s who are pregnant but parenting and are either homeless or endangered of being homeless , and usually their homelessness is a reflection of the fact that they have chosen to parent a child and they don’t have a support system. If you are young, unmarried, without a job or without the skills to get a decent job, you’re going to wind up homeless very shortly because of the fact that it’s almost impossible to live here on Long Island without a certain income level. The mothers are really seeking a way of parenting their children, some have given their children up for adoption, after they’ve been with us for a while because it was more than they could handle, but most of the mothers have come because they want to help their children and keep them and raise them, themselves.”
“The ones who have chosen to do this have sometimes faced opposition from their families and boyfriends and said if they don’t have an abortion they have to leave whatever home they are in and as a result that’s how the homelessness occurs and they’re not equipped to go out on their own, so what we’re trying to do is give them an opportunity to fulfill all their gifts, all the things that they are capable of doing to find a way of being that person. With our help for the few years they are with us and it shows that with that kind of support those miracles can happen.”
Is this program only offered to women that come from Long Island?
“No, there’s no geographical limitations, it’s most commonly used by women who are on long island but or the 5 boroughs of New York City, but we’ve taken girls from out of state and out of this country actually.”
What does Mommas house teach women?
‘It also teaches them how to take care of themselves, you know, health wise, how to avoid getting ill, how to pick and choose good partners for themselves during life, how to get out of domestic violence situations and then on a practical side, how to cook and clean and shop and keep a budget and pay their bills, the things they are absolutely going to need in order to get on with their lives”.
How did you get started with constructing this program?
“We share this office with birthright, birthright has been a program that’s helped women who have wanted to proceed with their pregnancy, to get medical care and to find a place to live during their pregnancy and we used to take these young women into our homes and there have been several girls who weren’t able to find a place to live with their children after the baby was born so we decided that we needed to find a residence for them and there wasn’t any on long island when we started so almost 22 years ago we started this program in response to the needs of these young women who couldn’t find a place to live, they’re young, nobody will rent to them, they’re not legally able to sign a lease nobody is willing to support them so how often will the landlord get the rent, so it was really a desperate situation for these young women.”
Do you think long island would be a different place if Momma’s house didn’t exist?
“Well it would be a different place for people who need us that's for sure, they couldn’t survive, and what happens then is that it leads to situations of danger, the mothers are living with friends or relatives and they keep moving around and children’s needs aren’t being met, the mother isn’t staying healthy they’re not eating well, tonight they don’t know if they are going to have a bed to sleep in, they wind up with people who are going to take advantage of them. Its a very bad situation and it just keeps getting worse and worse as time goes on, and I think that they sometimes lose their children because of their homelessness and the dangerous situations they're living in, so it would definitely be a far worse situation for them; and in addition I feel that Momma’s house helps women get off of public assistance by helping them to get a job, and the way they get a job is that they go to school and they get job training, so as a community we benefit from the fact that they’re no longer going to be dependent on us, they are going to be tax payers, they are going to be people that are living in the community, contributing to the community and giving back money to the community through their own taxes.”
So along with providing care they gain freedom and independence as well from Momma’s House
“Yes, and also they raise healthier, stronger children, some of the girls that we've seen, their children are going to college because the mother was given the opportunity to improve her life, so once she raises her expectations then the children will have raised expectations, and that benefits the community in general.”
Do you think that an organization like Planned Parent Hood, even though it is very different do you think women of Long Island benefit from it as well?
“It depends on what they are going there for, if they're going there to stay healthy, to learn more about their health, maybe, but unfortunately Planned Parenthood is a major provider of abortion services so someone leaves that clinic or facility no longer alive, so I certainly don’t think they benefit in that respect, I think it demeans women, in that respect, that women are being put down in saying you are not capable of raising a child, your not good enough to raise a child, you’re not wise enough to place a child up for a adoption if you cant do it yourself. It puts them in that place and I think it doesn’t appeal to the strongest of women’s attributes, it says I know you’re going to fail, I know you don’t have any self respect, I know that you’re going to do what some man tells you to do, so here’s something to prevent you from getting pregnant or here’s a way of getting rid of your child, should you get pregnant, its so self destructive of self esteem and I think, I feel that they’re motivation is good they feel that are helping women, but at what cost, the cost is way too high especially if the child dies as a result.”
As far as things like offering contraceptives and the healthcare part of it, would you say it compares?
“Some Planned Parenthood’s provide prenatal care which is excellent and they provide it in the neighborhoods where the girls live which is excellent, so transportation isn’t as big an you know, I’ll give the devil its due I think they do some good things. I don’t agree with their programs of contraception availability to young children in schools, I don’t think you should be giving condoms to children in schools I think that the parents have to be involved with this they should be involved in I thin they have to know what’s going in their children’s lives, I think what's happening is they're interfering with the child parent relationship, you could be 12 or 13 and you’re getting condoms in school, and your parents don’t even know so who are you sleeping with, who’s having sex with these children not 12 or 13 year old boys they are 25 and 30 year old men and they’re taking advantage of these girls because of the fact because they saying ok I can get this I can get that I can get on the pill, who are we protecting, we're not protecting the girl or young women were protecting the men who don’t have to take responsibility for their children should thy get pregnant its a big issue and its one of the ones that make me the most upset because a lot of planned parenthood emphasis is on we know better than you do as a family, well each family has their set of values and their own moral code, so what’s right for your family may not be right for my family so don’t presume that I don’t love and care about my children just because I have a certain moral code and you don’t have that one, and I’m not saying that about you, I’m not saying, you raise your children one way and you say you love your children and you care about them and that’s how you want to raise your child that’s fine, but don’t presume because I have a code of ethics and a code of morality and I don’t want my children given contraceptives in Junior high school that I’m not raising and loving my child? And that’s exactly what’s going on here.”
So momma’s house emphasizes more of the family aspect…
“Actually we so seldom get involved with those issues that I just discussed because these girls are already pregnant they’ve already decided to have their babies, they are living with us, they’re not out there with their boyfriends, so it’s a mooch point for us really, but it’s the way I feel about it and the reason I feel so strongly is because so many of these women had gone to planned parenthood, had been down that road and they wound up pregnant anyway because they’re young, they’re immature, they don’t know how to use contraceptives properly and they think they’re invulnerable and nothings ever going to happen to them and that can lead them into very bad relationships which is why they wind up where they are, homeless or pregnant.”
So it sounds the caring to help them do things right is implemented in mommas house….
“I think that if you build a woman’s self esteem and give her skills and make her feel good about herself these issues will resolve themselves because she’ll be much wiser in her relationships and much more demanding of her partner to participate in their relationship, he will be as committed to her as she is..so many of these women use these men to help them get out , get out of their homes whatever, so maybe he’ll support her for a month and then he’s gone and she can’t maintain, and it happens quite often, this is not a unique thing I am describing to you, and we want them to be equipped that they can say ok go, I can do this on my own, I’m strong enough and I have the skills and I’m going to be successful whether you’re here or not, and they get that by getting an education and getting a job and feeling good about being a mother and they take their responsibilities seriously that’s when they get good self esteem.”
How is Momma’s House funded?
“We do a lot of our own fundraising, we are not a government agency but we get some funding from the Nassau county and the state but not a huge amount, mostly our own private funding.”
And there are 5 sites...
“There are four; we have a house in Glen Cove, Jericho and Hempstead, and a transitional living house in east Massapequa”
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